What to do?

Well, the job didn't come through, and it seemed a little bit sketchy to me the way the whole thing went down. One minute I was scheduled to come in and interview asap then they said they didn't hear back from my references, which I know is not true, then it was put on hold, then I got a letter saying the position was filled. Whatever I guess.

So, now here I am a month later from when we first decided to use donor insemination to get pregnant. The paperwork was sent into the cryobank, but I realized I hadn't heard back from them. I called and they said they sent me an email? I never received one I'm pretty sure, even went through my spam file. Anyway, so I sent the additional information that they needed and hopefully I'll hear back soon. But, even if I do, I'm not sure about starting treatment this cycle?

Here's why I'm not sure, I'm officially unemployed at the moment. It's not like we don't have any income to pay bills and live off of (unemployment insurance), but should we be going into further debt and possibly bringing a child into this world when I don't have a job? I'm confident that I can find one, I'm just not sure how soon. This isn't the best job market right now, you know? I have health insurance, for now, that I pay for, but I know it's going to be changing come January 1 and I don't know how much its going to cost at that point, yikes!

The plus to going through treatments now, versus when I'm employed is that I can drive up to Spokane with no problems, I don't have to come up with some story for an employer on why I'm late to work that day. If I had a job, then when I had to go in for an ultrasound on day (Cycle Day) 12, I would be late getting back to work. Then if all was well at my ultrasound, I would have to go back up to Spokane the very next day. Can you call in sick/late two days in row with a new job? I certainly wouldn't want to tell them I was trying to get pregnant.

Also there is the fact that I'm not getting any younger. If I got pregnant right away I'd still be 34 by the time the baby is born. And fertility just gets worse the older I get. As the doctor said, at my age, I just may want to make it work...

You know, when I was 29 and we started trying to get pregnant, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be 34, still not have children or at the very least be pregnant. It just doesn't seem right you know?

Ouch!

Well, not to much new on the fertility side of things. I had to go and have 6 vials of blood drawn yesterday. Mike and I both need to be tested for different diseases, namely HIV & Hepatitis A,B, & C. Then I have to be tested for all sorts of other things, CMV, blood type & RH factor, Rubella, and a bunch of others. Apparently this is required by the FDA in order to do donor insemination.

The CMV is kind of interesting, apparently it's a virus that's similar to Chicken Pox and the different Herpes viruses in that once you have contracted the virus it can lay dormant in your system. They test for an antibody to see if you've ever had it. The sperm donors are also tested as well. And when you are going through the "menu" of donors it specifies whether or not they are positive. If they are positive, then I would have to be positive as well in order to use that donor. Crazy huh? So I have to wait and see if I'm positive since that would limit our selections even more.

On the job front - keep your fingers crossed. A possible employer is running my background check right now, and hopefully I'll be able to go in and meet with the hiring director by the end of the week. This probably sounds crazy, but it will be nice to get up in the morning, get ready and head off to the office again. I kind of miss the interaction with people each day. I'm not always the most out going person, so it's been a little hard meeting lots of people here. I'll keep you updated!