Something to be Thankful For

Have you ever been in a car accident? Well, I was in my first really large accident on Monday. Besides being super sore, I'm fine and so is Mike, which when you look at the pictures you will agree is pretty amazing. Mike and I hit some ice on the road early Monday morning on our way to Spokane, the car slid off the road, then went off the embankment, rolled at least three times and came to rest on hits top.

Mike was actually able to climb right out of the car and then help me, which was good because I was a little bit more banged up. The ER doctor said my X-Rays all came back clear and we just had superficial scrapes... I am so amazed.

I remember as soon as the car started to slide thinking 'oh s*^t this is not good'. I knew we were going to roll but the funny thing was I wasn't scared. There was no 'life flashing before eyes' episode, I just remember knowing that we had to hold on and get through it.

We were so lucky to have help immediately after the crash, Thank you Jose whoever you are! And thank you to Matt, the volunteer firefighter who actually drove his truck down the embankment and out in to the field to help us. Thank you to my mom for driving up to Spokane and picking us up, and taking care of us these past couple of days. And lastly, thank you to whoever invented the seat belt!

The Big Game!

Saturday was the BIG GAME, Idaho vs. Boise State. It's a pretty big deal around here. We bought our tickets weeks ago, the game was sold out, we were wearing black we were ready. We were there to support the University of Idaho while they went up against #9 Nationally Ranked Boise State!!! There were people in Blue and Orange all over town, the Bronco's had invaded Moscow.

Game started out amazing!! On the very first play after the kickoff, it appeared that an Idaho player had been brought down right on the edge of the field by a Bronco, but then wait... he was still running... running all the way down the field, TOUCHDOWN IDAHO!!! We couldn't believe it, and neither could the other team!! Sure enough he was never actually down, he just rolled over another guy and kept running, Idaho scored and they scored first!!! they were actually leading!!!

The crowd was going crazy! So much fun... that really didn't last all that long. Idaho kept it close up to half time, it was Idaho 10 Boise 17 at the half, then the 3rd quarter happened, it was not pretty!!! Boise showed why they are ranked #9 in the nation. At least we had a good quarter though.

We were really glad that we got to go since Mike will only be here this fall and next fall, then he'll be graduating in May of 2010. Next year they will play in Boise, so we saw it while we could!

Well, as anyone can probably tell, things are on hold for the moment. I had pretty much decided that we would continue with the still trying to start a family, I thought, well I'll get a job soon and I'm so tall if we actually suceeded I won't be showing anytime soon anyway, but then a few obsticles popped up. First of all the Cryobank, wasn't really comfortable with the idea that I was self employed (which I was when I filled out the paperwork), we had to send them a copy of last years tax returns just to prove that we have the ability to support a child. Which I guess is probably a good thing. But then they were still requiring a large deposit for their services, which I'm a little confused about since we pay for everything up front... but needless to say, we don't have a lot of extra floating around to put down a deposit and pay for their services up front.

Then, I got 'the letter' I've been waiting for. Since May when I lost my health insurance through my former employer I've been paying my COBRA premium's out of my own pocket. Since my old employer was a small company my premiums were based on my relatively young age, so they were low. Well, as of January 1st I will no longer be eligible for those low rates, and my premiums will jump up to $557 per month, just for me!!! I will be joined the ranks of the not only the unemployed but also the uninsured.

I just can't in good concious purposely get pregnant when I know that I may not have health insurance to cover the delivery and birth. We are on hold. Oh well, it's alright. We'll get there someday!

What to do?

Well, the job didn't come through, and it seemed a little bit sketchy to me the way the whole thing went down. One minute I was scheduled to come in and interview asap then they said they didn't hear back from my references, which I know is not true, then it was put on hold, then I got a letter saying the position was filled. Whatever I guess.

So, now here I am a month later from when we first decided to use donor insemination to get pregnant. The paperwork was sent into the cryobank, but I realized I hadn't heard back from them. I called and they said they sent me an email? I never received one I'm pretty sure, even went through my spam file. Anyway, so I sent the additional information that they needed and hopefully I'll hear back soon. But, even if I do, I'm not sure about starting treatment this cycle?

Here's why I'm not sure, I'm officially unemployed at the moment. It's not like we don't have any income to pay bills and live off of (unemployment insurance), but should we be going into further debt and possibly bringing a child into this world when I don't have a job? I'm confident that I can find one, I'm just not sure how soon. This isn't the best job market right now, you know? I have health insurance, for now, that I pay for, but I know it's going to be changing come January 1 and I don't know how much its going to cost at that point, yikes!

The plus to going through treatments now, versus when I'm employed is that I can drive up to Spokane with no problems, I don't have to come up with some story for an employer on why I'm late to work that day. If I had a job, then when I had to go in for an ultrasound on day (Cycle Day) 12, I would be late getting back to work. Then if all was well at my ultrasound, I would have to go back up to Spokane the very next day. Can you call in sick/late two days in row with a new job? I certainly wouldn't want to tell them I was trying to get pregnant.

Also there is the fact that I'm not getting any younger. If I got pregnant right away I'd still be 34 by the time the baby is born. And fertility just gets worse the older I get. As the doctor said, at my age, I just may want to make it work...

You know, when I was 29 and we started trying to get pregnant, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be 34, still not have children or at the very least be pregnant. It just doesn't seem right you know?

Ouch!

Well, not to much new on the fertility side of things. I had to go and have 6 vials of blood drawn yesterday. Mike and I both need to be tested for different diseases, namely HIV & Hepatitis A,B, & C. Then I have to be tested for all sorts of other things, CMV, blood type & RH factor, Rubella, and a bunch of others. Apparently this is required by the FDA in order to do donor insemination.

The CMV is kind of interesting, apparently it's a virus that's similar to Chicken Pox and the different Herpes viruses in that once you have contracted the virus it can lay dormant in your system. They test for an antibody to see if you've ever had it. The sperm donors are also tested as well. And when you are going through the "menu" of donors it specifies whether or not they are positive. If they are positive, then I would have to be positive as well in order to use that donor. Crazy huh? So I have to wait and see if I'm positive since that would limit our selections even more.

On the job front - keep your fingers crossed. A possible employer is running my background check right now, and hopefully I'll be able to go in and meet with the hiring director by the end of the week. This probably sounds crazy, but it will be nice to get up in the morning, get ready and head off to the office again. I kind of miss the interaction with people each day. I'm not always the most out going person, so it's been a little hard meeting lots of people here. I'll keep you updated!

CD 3 (Yesterday) - Screeching HALT

On Wednesday, right when I got home from my blood draw for my progesterone test, Michael sat me down and well, brought the quest for children to a screeching halt for this cycle. As you may or may not know, Michael has a very painful condition called Ankylosing Spondylitis, its a type of auto immune disease. Well, it's been flaring up pretty badly lately and he has a pretty hard time moving around. Essentially his hip bone/pelvis is fusing to his spine, kind of limits his mobility. There is medication that slows the progression of the disease and in doing so really limits the pain. Unfortunately it is VERY expensive and with his funny student insurance we've had a hard time getting it for him on a regular basis. We've finally found a pharmacy that is going to work with us so we only have to pay a $75 copay per month, Rite Aid Rocks!!

We've also found out recently that quite a few of Michael's blood relatives have the genetic marker for the disease, and a few have developed the disease. The research he's done says that he has about a 50% chance of passing on the genetic marker and then if you have the genetic marker you have about a 20% chance of developing the disease. While that doesn't seem like to much of chance, the fact that so many of his relatives are suffering from it is scaring him, and honestly me as well. He was thinking that he didn't want to pass on this disease to any offspring. But he still wants children, so that leaves us with a couple of options. We can adopt or we can have children using a sperm donor.

Since, there is no reason I can't have children we are leaning towards the sperm donor option. So now we have start the research on how this all works. We've found a Cryobank that is located in the same building as my Dr. and there is even a donor that looks like he might be a good match, similar coloring & build to Michael. We thought about still trying to do the IUI this month, but we figured that would be too much stress for us to try and get everything together in time. So we are going to put it off until next month.

In the mean time there is so much to do! We both have to have all sorts of tests done, FDA regulations I guess, HIV, Hepatitis tests, I have to have a CMV antibody test. It's just crazy. Apparently CMV is a common virus similar to the Chicken Pox & Herpes virus's in that once you have it, the virus never really leaves your system. Many of the donor's are positive for the antibodies for the virus and if they are positive, then I must be to. If I'm not that limits our choices even more.

So much stuff to learn!

CD 2

I wrote the prior blog yesterday, but I guess I didn't post it. Oh well. So today has been a bit a whirl wind. I went over to the local hospital to have my blood drawn for a progesterone test, and I know the Dr's office needs the results back right away. My doctor is up in Spokane, about 90 miles north of where I live. The hospital can't perform the progesterone test so they have to send it up to Spokane to be run. I didn't know if that would be enough time and was thinking I may have to drive all the way up to Spokane just to have this blood test. That would NOT be good. Luckily, the Dr's office says as long as they can get the results tomorrow morning it is all fine. Goodness!

Tomorrow morning I'll get a phone call from the doctor's office letting me know if I can start the medications. If I do then 5 days of lovely hormonal drugs. Woo hoo!